How to Network for a Job: Intros, Cold Emails, Templates

Networking is how you actually apply#

Every open role online gets flooded with applicants, and more of them now come from people using AI to apply to hundreds of jobs a week. A resume that arrives cold competes with all of them. A resume that arrives with someone saying “you should talk to this person” skips the line.

Ethan Evans spent years hiring at Amazon. He puts it from the hiring manager’s side: when a big role is open, there are people they know and people they don’t, and a bad hire is painful enough that they default to the ones they know. Someone vouching for you is how you move from the second group to the first.

Recruiters work the same way. Lauren Ipsen, who has filled senior product roles for venture-backed companies, doesn’t start a search by messaging strangers on LinkedIn. She starts by asking a handful of people she trusts.

**Lauren Ipsen**, executive recruiter, formerly at Daversa Partners

So networking isn’t a side activity you do while applying. It’s how you apply. Most of these conversations are what people call informational interviews or coffee chats: twenty or thirty minutes with someone who knows a company, a role or a field you’re aiming at. (There’s a full guide to informational interviews, with questions to ask.) Before each conversation, tailor your resume for the person and company you’re about to talk to (that’s covered in step five).

The playbook changes a bit depending on which path you’re on, but the mechanics below apply to everyone.

Why you avoid it, and why you shouldn’t#

The fear is the ask. Asking feels like imposing, or like admitting you need help.

But the people who know you probably like you, and most of them want to help. The worst realistic outcome is a no, and a no is expected and fine. People are busy for all sorts of private reasons, and they may never tell you why. It’s about their life, not you.

Ada Chen Rekhi, an executive coach, names the misconception directly: people assume asking for advice is one-sided. It isn’t. Helping someone feels good, especially when it only takes a few minutes and you later hear how it turned out.

**Ada Chen Rekhi**, executive coach and co-founder of Notejoy

Why helping you is in their interest#

Being known as someone who connects good people is a good reputation to have. When someone meets a person who’s clearly good, they’re usually keen to introduce them, because it reflects well on them.

Don’t let that turn into pressure. Moving someone from “sure, I guess” to “I have to introduce you to my friend” isn’t hard:

Show up on time.
Smile, and be appreciative and enthusiastic.
Tell the best truthful version of your story.
Make clear what you can offer.

A little effort here gets people making introductions for you without being asked twice.

Who to network with first#

Order your list by how well you know people.

Strong ties first. Close friends, former teammates, people who’ve seen your work. You can be honest with them about your uncertainty, they’ll cheer you on, and early wins build confidence. But they share most of your network, so they’re rarely your best leads.

Then weak ties. Acquaintances, former colleagues you haven’t spoken to in years, friends of friends. These are usually the most valuable conversations, because they know people you don’t. The sociologist Mark Granovetter called this “the strength of weak ties” in 1973, and his finding that people often hear about jobs through acquaintances rather than close friends has held up since. Practice on warm ties, then go lukewarm, then weak.

Then cold, through affinity. Your network is bigger than you think. Your university and grad school alumni, everyone who has worked at any of your former companies, your running group, your gym, the parents at your kid’s school. Anything alum-shaped gives you a reason to reach out.

AI promptBuild my outreach list

Help me build a networking list for my job search.

My story: [YOUR TWO-SENTENCE STORY]
Target companies or kinds of companies: [LIST]

Here are the groups I belong to or have belonged to: [schools, past employers, communities, clubs, online groups, industry associations, etc.]

1. For each group, suggest where to find people from it who work at or near my targets (alumni directories, LinkedIn filters, Slack communities, etc.), with the exact search or filter to use.
2. Suggest five kinds of people I'm probably forgetting about.
3. Give me a simple table template to track: name, how I know them, tie strength (strong / weak / cold), what I'll ask for, date contacted, outcome, intros offered.

Match the ask to the relationship#

The weaker the tie and the less sure you are of your direction, the more you should ask for advice rather than a role.

Asking a stranger to refer you for a job you’re not qualified for makes you look clueless. Asking the same stranger “you made the move from consulting to product; how did you decide?” makes you look thoughtful, and often ends with them offering to help anyway.

This is hard to judge about yourself, which is why the story work matters. The best forcing function is reading the reactions on your early calls.

When you’re unsure, Phyl Terry’s “golden question” is the best advice ask I know. Terry wrote Never Search Alone and has run job search councils for thousands of people. He sends job seekers on a “listening tour” of people they trust, and gives them one question to ask: If you were in my shoes, how would you approach this? It asks for their judgment without asking them to decide on the spot whether to vouch for you.

**Phyl Terry**, author of Never Search Alone

Read the room, then fix the story#

Networking is a learning loop. Every conversation tells you whether your story is landing.

Good signs	Warning signs
They nod, say “that makes sense” and move on	They look skeptical or ask lots of clarifying questions
They volunteer a name or offer an intro unprompted	They say “let me think about who might know” and nothing follows
They repeat your story back accurately	They describe you as something you’re not aiming for
They tell you a company that fits	They suggest something completely different

If you keep getting warning signs, the problem is usually the story, not the delivery. Go back and narrow it.

Record your calls#

Ask if you can record “for my own self-improvement.” It signals a growth mindset, and framed that way, almost nobody says no.

Afterwards, review the call, or have an impartial AI do it. What did they ask? Where did they seem confused? How did you deliver your main points? Did you actually make the ask? You’ll learn more from one listen-back than from ten calls you only remember. (Work Coach does this review automatically if you want it done for you.)

What to say on a networking call: two goals#

1. Get them to like you. People help people they like. Be enthusiastic, on time, confident and lively, someone they’d want to be associated with. If you’re on path one, project confidence fully. Never lie or fake it: put the best truthful version of yourself forward. This gets easier with reps.

2. Make it easy to help. Go in with a specific ask and a forwardable blurb ready to send.

Marc Baselga, co-host of Supra Insider, describes getting exactly this kind of note from a friend who’d just been laid off. Instead of “connect me to all these people,” it explained what happened, what he was looking for and what he was doing in the meantime. The ask was light, and that made him want to help.

End every conversation with an ask#

Most people do this badly, or skip it. Every call ends with an ask, whatever path you’re on. If you’re seeking advice, the advice is part of the ask, but there’s usually a person, company, role or resource to ask for on top. You can’t stay in advice mode forever.

If they don’t offer, ask directly. “Would you be open to making a couple of introductions for me?”
The more specific, the better. Name people or companies you’ve already found, for example by browsing their LinkedIn connections before the call. Your homework is what makes it easy for them.
A specific ask is a prompt, not a ceiling. People forget who’s in their network. Naming one person jogs their memory and they’ll surface others. Lead with a name, then ask: “Who else comes to mind?”

The ask, word for word

“This has been really helpful, thank you. I noticed you’re connected to Priya Shah at Northwind. Would you be open to introducing me? I’d love to hear how her team thinks about growth. And is there anyone else who comes to mind I should talk to?”

Compounding is the whole point. If every call yields two introductions, you go from “I have no network” to having too many people to talk to, fast. Almost nobody thinks about networking this way. The risk isn’t running out of people. It’s not asking for enough, and not being proactive enough afterwards.

How many conversations is enough? Andrew Yeung, who hosts tech networking events in New York, gives a simple target for anyone actively searching: at least five new conversations a week.

**Andrew Yeung**, former Google and Meta product leader, founder and event host

How to ask for an introduction: the double opt-in#

A double opt-in introduction is one where both people agree before they’re connected. Your contact first asks the other person whether they’re willing to talk, and only connects you once they say yes. That way, everyone who gets on a call with you actually wants to be there.

If your contact doesn’t say that’s how they’ll do it, check: “Would you mind asking them first if they’re up for it? I’ll send you a short blurb you can forward.”

Phyl Terry is blunt about why. Anyone sent to him through an intro he didn’t agree to is, in his words, someone he doesn’t want to speak to. His fix is the same as ours: ask your contact to get permission first, and write the request for them in their voice so it costs them nothing.

Write a forwardable intro email#

A forwardable email is a short note about you, written so your contact can forward it without editing. It’s the key to a good intro. Send your contact an email they can read, think “great,” and forward in one click. Frame it as “here’s a blurb you can easily forward.” You don’t need to add “feel free to edit.”

What it has to do:

Say why the recipient should take the call. You’re selling.
Sound like the introducer, so it’s not too salesy.
Show the introducer understands what’s interesting from the recipient’s side and what you have to offer.
Make the introducer look good for connecting high-quality people.

Forwardable intro email template

Subject: Intro to Maya Chen?

Hi Priya, would you be up for a quick intro to Maya Chen? She ran growth for the consumer app at Ledgerly, where she took week-one retention from 31% to 44% by rebuilding onboarding, and she’s now looking at senior growth roles in fintech. Given what you mentioned about activation being Northwind’s big focus this year, I think you’d get a lot out of 20 minutes with her. Happy to connect you if you’re up for it.

AI promptWrite a forwardable intro blurb

Write a short email I can send to my contact so they can forward it to someone they're introducing me to.

Me: [YOUR TWO-SENTENCE STORY, plus 1–2 specific results]
My contact (the introducer): [NAME, how they know me]
The person I want to meet: [NAME, ROLE, COMPANY, anything I know about their priorities]
What I want from the conversation: [e.g. 20 minutes on how their team approaches X]

Rules:
- Write it in the introducer's voice, in third person about me, so they can forward it unchanged.
- Under 100 words. One concrete result, one reason this person in particular would find the conversation worthwhile.
- Warm but not salesy. No adjectives like "amazing" or "rockstar".
- End by offering to connect us if they're up for it (double opt-in).

Give me two versions: one more formal, one more casual.

Follow up the same day with a thank-you#

Most people skip follow-up, which is why doing it well stands out.

Send a thank-you the same day, including the forwardable blurb for any intros they offered. Send it even if they couldn’t offer anything.
After you meet the person they introduced you to, close the loop with the introducer in one short sentence: “Talked to Priya today, great conversation, she’s introducing me to her VP.” Make them glad they did it.

Sam Lessin, a partner at Slow Ventures, says the thank-you should be short and genuine: we met, I got something out of it, thank you for your time.

**Sam Lessin**, partner at Slow Ventures and former VP of Product at Facebook

Telling everyone when you land the job comes later, in step seven.

Thank-you email after a coffee chat

Subject: Thank you, and the blurb for Priya

Thanks again for the time today. Your point about Northwind hiring for the self-serve motion completely changed how I’m pitching myself. As promised, here’s a short blurb you can forward to Priya. And no pressure on the others you mentioned, but I’d be grateful for any of them.

The forwardable intro email guide has more templates, including what to send once you’re connected.

Cold emails for informational interviews#

With no introducer, the message has to earn the reply on its own. Lead with the shared affinity and ask for advice, never for a role or an introduction.

Channel: email first, ideally from an alumni directory or community. If you can’t find an email, use a LinkedIn connection request with a note.
Craft it, don’t mass-send it. It’s obvious when someone put in effort. But don’t over-research either. Scan their LinkedIn, find one thing that shows you did your homework (“saw you moved from consulting into product”), then make the ask.
About five sentences: the affinity, the one homework detail, who you are, the advice ask, a low-pressure close.
Volume: more than you’d send to friends, but you can’t and shouldn’t email a thousand people. Start small and ramp up.
Expect a low hit rate, and don’t judge yourself by it. Most people either skip cold outreach or do it badly and quit. Very few people in any alumni group ever get asked for advice. The successful-but-not-famous alum is almost never approached, and is often delighted to be. Measure the enthusiasm of the people who reply, not the silence of the ones who don’t.
Follow up once if you hear nothing, about a week later.

One caveat for very busy or senior people: some of them will answer a sharp written question but won’t take a 15-minute call with a stranger. Jules Walter, a product leader at YouTube, found some of his mentors through cold messages that asked one very clear question. Lenny Rachitsky adds in the same conversation that he has no time for coffee chat requests but will answer a real question quickly. If your target is famous, ask the question in writing and let the call be their idea.

**Jules Walter**, product leader at YouTube and co-founder of the Black Product Managers Network

Cold email for an informational interview (alumni)

Subject: Fellow Michigan alum, quick question about your move into product

Hi Sarah,

I’m a fellow Michigan alum and saw you moved from consulting into product at Stripe a few years ago. I’m a product manager who was just laid off from a fintech startup, and I’m trying to decide between going big-company or staying early-stage. Your path is exactly the one I’m weighing, and I’d really value fifteen minutes of your perspective on how you made that call. Happy to work around your schedule, and thanks either way.

Dan

If you can only reach them on LinkedIn, cut it down to fit a connection note:

LinkedIn connection note to an alum

“Hi Sarah, fellow Michigan alum here. I’m a PM weighing big-company versus early-stage, and your move from consulting into product at Stripe is exactly the path I’m considering. Would you have 15 minutes to share how you decided? Thanks either way.”

AI promptDraft a cold outreach email

Help me write a cold email asking for advice (not a job or a referral).

Shared affinity: [e.g. same university, same former employer, same community]
About them (from LinkedIn or their bio): [PASTE OR SUMMARIZE]
About me: [YOUR TWO-SENTENCE STORY]
What I want advice on: [the specific decision or question]

Rules:
- About five sentences: the affinity, one specific detail about them that shows I did my homework, who I am, the advice ask (15 minutes), a low-pressure close.
- Don't ask for a job, a referral or an introduction.
- No flattery beyond the one specific detail. No "I hope this email finds you well."
- Plain and warm, like a person wrote it.

Also write a two-sentence follow-up I can send if I don't hear back after a week.

Questions people ask about networking#

How do you network when you don’t know anyone?#

You know more people than you think. Start with former coworkers and classmates, then use affinity: alumni of your schools and former employers, and communities you belong to. Ask for advice, not a job, and end every call by asking who else you should talk to.

How many networking conversations should you have a week?#

If you’re searching full time, aim for at least five new conversations a week, the target Andrew Yeung gives above. The number matters less than ending each one with a specific ask, so it leads to more.

How do you ask for an informational interview?#

Lead with what you have in common, show you did one minute of homework, and ask for fifteen minutes of advice on a specific question. The informational interview guide has email templates and the questions to ask once you’re on the call.